I
am torn.
Like the papers you signed.
Forced.
Forced to raise the boys
with you
and
your fears.
Forced into silence;
keeping myself from what I deserved
as a daughter,
to silence your tears.

My hero.
I saw you strong,
time and time again.
But I, too, saw your achilles bare.
I know the ins-and-outs.
I was there.
I share those feelings --
I share that experience.
I share the life that we were forced,
together,
to live.

But now,
with our loss --
I'm stamped.
The title:
DAMAGED GOODS.

I am not me;
I am the product of a splitting of a man and his wife.
I am the adultery.
I am the unwanted.

Well, now that I'm wanted
you must now forgive me for wondering.

I've waited patiently,
and gone through the motions;
Now that I can,
I can't.
The unfair tugging at my heart strings.
The love for you and the yearning for what my life could have been.
Don't let me have that.

I deserve to know.
I deserve a blank slate --
whether new or cleaned off --
it matters not to me.
I will make the mistakes
or I will relish
in the ways of human kind:
The ability to change and adapt;
The same ability I put into motion.
If you can change, we all can change.

So,
please.
I beg of you.
I represent not the hatred
and I will not bear it any longer.
You are my flesh,
you are my blood.
And I owe you the rewards of my life.
But he,
he is my flesh
and my blood
too...