he ruined drugs for me the day i met him.

i didn't want to love before--I'm not the same person I was;

i loved someone who never loved me, who never saw
me in any light (i'm still the dark)

he ruined ****; i loved it now its slow palpitations,
turned into waves: i don't feel home at home anymore

i'm drunk to myself
he ruined hard liquor, made every face
seen like his (i love beards now)
it's awesome to pretend i've gotten over someone
months away

free association turns into him--what does he represent?
a desire in my subconscious to be at bay;
something that may never come
i'm not the person i could be when i was happy

i was happy.
i drink beer and get high to forget
the one who gave me my first beer
my first tab
shroom
hard liquor

i'll use these means to travel back to you;
i don't want this, i don't need this
how can i leave these states?
i want to float on clouds

i mean nothing to something in my thoughts
i don't understand
i'll drunk text everyone but you
the one who'd drunk text me