There is so much that I want to write
Express how all of these occurrences affected me
Put on paper the way this music has me feeling
But each time I begin
It all feels wrong
I delete all the lines I had down
Contemplating if lines of another sort would be good
Wishing I had toxins to consume me
Just as their lack of presence does
Those who are here are not the ones I crave
Just like I crave those pills again
That terrifying sensation
To fill my time just like years past
But I know that I want to be here when they return
Whether that be two days or two months
So I leave that sensation in my past
Dreaming of new ones that I want to experience
With someone who is supposed to be back here with me soon
I impatiently await for them to return
On the edge of all my seats
Waiting for the night I do not have to go back
To this prison they call home
But can be in his arms all night as my worries dissipate
While poisons fill me
As his presence soothes me