“I think I'm getting better”
and before I could come up with a response,
with reassurance you said, you were still an belligerent ***-hole
It felt good you haven't changed.   I genuinely wanted to be offended, wanted to be angry at you  Instead, It just reminded me how much I've changed.  Almost, relaxing.

sometimes when I cant sleep I come up with an illogical hypothesis for everything, giving it a reason and understanding in my head. There is no big meaning, you and I are two different people. complete opposites, constantly pulling into different directions.  

I  can’t sit here and make pretend I haven’t face it yet, the uncomfortable realization,  the reassurance was more of a heavy weight
lifted off of  my  shoulders.