My heart was never really too broken
until I turned 13  
I went from being sad to scared all the time
like a lost bunny left out in the cold
I found myself dreaming less
and if I did dream I had nothing but fear  
during the morning I'd hurt bad
and it got worse every second
but I kept quiet about it because talking doesn't help
Sometimes my heart hurt so bad
that I lost control of my tears
I lay on the floor and try to get up
while fighting the urge to die
Some days are not bad
some days are borderline suicide
then there are days where I scream into my pillow so loud and hard
I start to cry uncontrollably then get very very down
It feels like a super volcano is constantly erupting inside my chest
not allowing me to breathe anything but fire and pain
the room gets very hot and I feel so numb
that I start cutting words into my skin "**** me please!"
Sometimes just holding the knife helps when I'm having an insane panic attack
so does running 'til it hurts
my heart feels better when I'm next to you
I'm not really sure why I can't have you
it causes so much pain for me
I'm at my breaking point every day
to think positive is impossible
I have no other option but to cut
let the scars heal and try to cry less
anxiety is a battle that's harder to **** than death
but I think nobody cares because this is how you left me.