I was lost in my own rib cage
Until I realized that loving you wouldn't make me love myself anymore than I do now
But I'm still turning your freckles into constellations in my head
And connecting the dots with my fingertips
And you're still laughing like you love me
But you fell for an ideal
And the sea is not always calm
More often raging and falling into itself than it is not
I still romanticize the way your eyelashes would fall from your eyelids
And how it made me feel like you have so many wishes to make and they're all full of life
Just like you
But loving you won't make me feel anymore alive than I do now
And if it does it's only in moments that I preserve for the times that I don't
I can't keep freezing the moments that never last and checking my rear view mirror to see if anything is following me from my past
I know that you're gone now and it's time to stop looking for you in all the places you left behind
Because I was one of them