Pain is  my highest motivator
to put pen to paper.

I'm numb,
my heart on standstill.
I love you
and wish that I didn't.

You want me,
though on days seem indecisive.

You wanted to stay in touch.
Days on end with no word
leaves me with doubt and disappointment.

I want to trash our memories
and leave it all behind,
but the quench in my heart
leaves me paralyzed.

I miss you with an intensity
that seems unfathomable.

Four months and the ease
is still nonexistent;
this upcoming move gives me hope.

I try to leave expectations low
as extra heartbreak
may send me to the ground.

I find breathing difficult as tears escape.

With reminders everywhere
I'm anxious to leave;
the memories are suffocating.

I can only hide so long
before it finally becomes too much.