I stare into open space wishing I could be free as the wind. I am a prisoner in my own mind. I keep tearing myself down so that I could build a better me that will be good enough .. Even if I could be good enough for a day, atleast then I could be loved for a day.

I keep missing my appointments with happiness because I am searching for answers at the bottom of a bottle and oxygen at the end of a bud. I keep yearning for a pat on the back. A job well done kind of stuff. I want life to tell me that he is proud of me  but all he does it stare at me with utter disappointment. I one day wish to drown in my own red pool because sunsets have never been ****** red nor have rainbows.