I remember what it felt like, it's kinda fuzzy, but in the haze of the past 16 days I can still feel the traces on your nails on my freckled skin, I often feel your fingers laced with mine only to look down and see that's far from the case and that my fingers are still frail and empty.

I saw you yesterday, I think I tripped over my heart when I first saw you, the way you still had the smile that I let myself fall for 5 months ago in the magic of that warm february night.

It felt like a kick in the stomach every time you got near me and didn't miss me, didn't debate with me on you thinking I am beautiful, or not molding my lips softly into yours.

I am selfish. I don't want you to be happy, I want you to miss me. I want you to show me you still care, and that the tears I shed weren't a waste of the water I have in my body.