he was a smile in the crowd
inbetween the pale faces and angry hair.
ushering me between the antiques.
he swept me through drumming beats.
he kept by my side.
he laughed with me.
he shared my humour.
why is it,
that this stranger,
could see that I am worth spending time with.
how is it,
that he could take the time,
to show me something new.
and yet,
the man i a married,
the man who i share a life with,
tells me that i am not likeable.
tells me i have an attitude.
tells me i dont care.
tells me i am an embarassment.
could i be such a dismal spot of filth?
that i can be of such little worth to the world.
through technology,
i can see his face.
and his smile,
makes me want to go to him.
i feel a need to be enveloped by arms.
arms that doesnt judge, or expect, or remember.
i want to speak my heart,
and not be admonished for it.
i want to share my dreams,
and not have them trampled.
the light i once thought was my soul,
has been kicked under dust,
because it was deemed too bright.
and now i watch the world go by.