You have no idea do you
I may be in love with you
And no matter how hard I try
To push that away
To block out all those feelings for you
To move on to some other man
That would love me so much
I just can't seem to
No matter how hard I try
I just can't
Your always in the back of my mind
Reminding me of what we had
The beauty of it
The first time you hugged me
The first time you held my hand
When we fell asleep together cuddling
When you scared me only to hug me and keep me safe
The first time you saw me cry
You just held me and said it would all be alright
The first time we walked home just you and I
The first time I leaned my head on your shoulder
The first time you helped me dance
I felt alive you brought me back to life
You made me feel free genuinely happy
Genuinely safe
And it hurts
Fuck it hurts so so fucken much
To think what we had then
Is nothing now
I want to cry so much
It hurts so badly
You weren't even really an ex
But maybe your were an ex maybe
An ex something
An ex possibly
It felt like we were dating
You held my hand
You let me sleep on your chest cuddling me tightly
You told me to stay safe
You told me you had my back
You held my in your arms and kept me safe
You watched me cry and held me
You told me you'd never let anyone hurt me that as long as you were there I'd be safe
But here you are hurting me yourself your there I'm hurting so much and you have no idea
How much I love you