On the nights that I am crying to myself all night long because I can’t take it anymore, I want someone to text or call me in the middle of one of those nights. Not the ones where I am sleeping away my bottled up pain, not dealing with it. Because those are the nights where I make my worst mistakes. Those are the nights where I tell the wrong person the deepest parts of my heart just to hear them say “just send me one that’s all I need. Then I will feel better too.” But then I realized that if someone called in the middle of one of those kind of nights where I am screaming into my pillow, and crying until I think I have no more tears just to think of something else and cry more, they wouldn’t be able to take care of me like my dad does. He holds me all night, even when I push send. He cries with me and for me because he doesn’t want me to feel this pain. He doesn’t want me to push send, he doesn’t want me to cry over the things my mom said to me in the argument I had with her, he doesn’t want me to think about money problems. He doesn’t want me to feel the pain he already felt for me. He doesn’t want me to hurt forever and not enjoy my earthly life with him holding me every night. He wants me to love life, tell myself that he won’t be the only one to hold me every night, and to remember that one day, I will be with him, every night.