More loose Ends

The dusty, ***** floor needs sweeping.
How hard am I willing to work?

I’m like a running back trying to move forward,
but my way is all blocked by big defensemen.

Will I keep my eyes open and moving?
Will I keep my body turned up field?
Will I keep my legs a-churning?
Will I run and pick my way,
through the maze that lies before me,
dodging the opposition, and gaining their turf?

Or:
Will I be a loner and run from everyone,
trying to make an end run all by myself,
and getting flattened by a swarming defense
that bridges me no gap?

What do I really want?
Do I really want Christ?
or
Do I want all the distractions of the world?

It seems I want them both.
Yet the Psalms say
there are only two ways
that a man may choose,
either God or the world.

So can I look into my own face and eyes
with enough seriousness
to cut through
all that is in me that is not true?

I could weep,
for I have been at this quest for as long as I can remember
and it’s always two steps forward and two steps back.

Yet here I am standing again,
ready to take the handoff from the quarterback
and try to outrace the opponents.

Lord please give me the faith and perseverance
to keep standing in here
in the backfield ready to run,
ready to always and ever keep trying again
regardless of past results
and unknown futures.