I have the world I have touched God felt his breath on the back of my neck while I dove in and out of the clearest night skies known to any man, living or dead I have drank euphoria down with certain privilege
and here I stand in the middle of this hot room, sweat marks lining a ***** and greyed night shirt legs wrapped in clinging and cheap black fabric covered in dog hairs, cat fur and spilt milk I can smell it souring with my negligence
I stand here sweating, shaking I repeat over and over and over "I need a doctor" "I need a doctor" "I need a doctor" "I need a doctor" "I need a doctor"
I cannot stop
and my chest will not do me the the honour to heave with tears and gasps draining itself of sickness
it is wound like an overcompensating clock around itself and collapsing into me surely and too quickly
I stand here I watch my oily, reddening face bring swollen eyes that modest salted water drips from, slowly like an unkept tap
I need a doctor my mind has collapsed onto itself a Victorian home with roaches climbing in and out of softened floorboards a feast on what remains