It's 2:45am on a day of a month and I know neither. I can hear the church bells ringing and I know that I've lost you for good this time; they may as well be funeral bells for whatever the **** we shared because you and I both know we can never work past this now. I cared too much and showed it too little, you cared too much and I couldn't bring myself to have faith in something so surreal to me that I would lay questioning it every single evening through to the next morning morning and if I couldn't even believe it when you told me you cared then how was I expected to be able to love when I've never seen anything but failed relationships and unhappy faces. I've been to one wedding in my life and that ended up with the bride and groom going their separate ways; my parents are mid-divorce and I've never seen my sister stay with someone for longer than a year. I was naïve to think I could ever love when all I've ever breathed is toxic air which killed the flowers in my lungs and the hope in my heart. It's 3:01am now and the church bells haven't rung, I'm starting to think they've realised there's no hope left for you and I, but I'm still clinging onto fraying ropes with worn out hands and a tired grasp on everything.