(turning anger into art; a rant)

you forgot what it meant to be a friend
I tried to make it work
but I forgot that friendships are
In fact,
a two way street

Silly, silly me.
I can't put broken pieces of a mirror back together
without look at myself through these shards
my hands bleeding
wondering what I did wrong
wondering why you didn't help fix this mess
wondering why it broke in the first place

I can't be angry anymore
I can't mourn the beautiful friendship we never had

sometimes I want to text you and apologize
maybe it's my fault for not speaking first
my fault for not coming to you and asking, "why?"
my fault for letting you in
expecting too much
I think about calling you
and when I do
you apologize,
pull the knife from my back
and let me bleed