My heart seems to be out of rhythm lately
I need to slow down my breaths so I don't get overwhelmed easily
Keep taking punches until you break me
Things are foggy and I don't get it
Maybe because I'm drunk almost 24/7
But I can't help it
If I fall flat on my face does it mean that I'm now broken
I don't want to live like this anymore
I'll get help when I'm home
But here I feel so alone
I don't want others to judge me
But I understand if they don't trust me
Because when I look in the mirror I don't know what I see
And I'm so ashamed
I don't recognize my own face
Your disappointment lingers in my brain
But when I sip from that bottle it all goes away
Until I see you
I sit and talk with you because I need your help
Please I am sinking rapidly
My demons are after me
I'm destructive towards myself
I'm not actually worth it
Too much is happening and I can't reverse it
I'm retreating back to old feelings
It's hard to find meaning
Maybe I'll be fine
Maybe it's do or die
So I'll make the decision to not hurt myself
And somehow find a way to change the cards I dealt for myself