There is probably so much wrong with me
Which is why I feel with my life filled with as much ambiguity
As I make it out to be
I will never know if you have seen nor found the real me.

So with all of my sincerity
With all the hopes of breaking these walls gently
You will have come to find
Something that I have never thought of to be kind

You’ll have never guessed
Why storms have meshed
On insides when outsides tell a story of calmness and bliss
But there’s possibilities that miss
The gravity behind
Widened smiles and loud laughters intertwined
With sleepless nights and teary faces
You’ll have never guessed that I am one of these cases

You’ll have always noted how my confidence is blinding
When in reality it is actually hiding
All that attempts to seep
Through these guarded walls for my emotions run deep
And the short time that was spent
Left a remarkable dent
One that I fear
Keeps that day near
The day when you see a girl crumbling
For love continuously keeps her fumbling.

You’ll have found a girl
Who has always feared the world
Leaving her alone
For every person she notes as a home
Has abandoned her in some sort of way
She feels her existence is unneeded some days
Which is why her feet have always been pierced with glass
And some days that glue cannot hold up her shattered mask

Yet you’ll find her pretending
And hear her apologizing
For all the things she has ever done
Even if she is not the cause of a single one
Even if you ask about her past
She will never tell you about the nights her mask did not last
She will never tell you how loud her thoughts get
The ones that have always kept
Her from knowing how much she is loved
And needed

So I ask you this
Dearest future boyfriend of mine
If you ever reach this deep end in due time
I beg you not to keep promises you do not intend to keep
That if you are going to swim this deep
Prepare to be very sweet to a girl trying to find her happiness in this world
Or prepare to add on what she’s always feared

And do not make an excuse
For there is no use
Of hiding intentions behind
For the truth is what I always find.