couldn't look in the eye
those swirling malachite folds
a slippery ***** endangered
unsteady stuttering breaths
and longing back stares
one another glimpses
in longing solitude
two brains
two hands
two desolate souls
a set mind game
for those deepened in heart fever
me, a widow, a lost something
but for the reflections in talents
and abstract paintings of the world
why couldn't it ever happen to me
the charisma and adventure
of reckless youth
of uncontrollable desire
an artist's heart drinking in
all that may fall behold her path
yet why is that infatuation
and winded sweaty palms
ends slashed to lost desires
to smeared communication
and ends in cut bleeding fingertips
why is that my chest thumps in anticipation
only to be deflated by disappointment
for all I have done for myself
for the approval in parents' eyes
and golden shiny plaques
why is that I cannot possible share
that preciousness
that running into the darkness
that skipping into the starry heavens
why is that my heart's fate always
fall too short
only to be picked by up
by another
disappointment