money makes me ugly,
as soon as I catch extra
you can see me at the smoke shop,
blowing it by buyin' packs of cigarettes
smoking two a pop,
drinking heinous amounts,
getting dangerous when I go out,
reckless intentions demolish
my apprehension for self harm,
not razors but walls,
not looking for a savior or even
interacting with all a y'all,
just sitting in the shower using
too much water while I finish off a bottle,
full throttle toward self destruction,
trying to not function,
I don't even want the promise
of resurection, distant on purpose,
so I'll close this with an apology
to everybody and me,
I'm sorry
I'm sorry