The same Cricket has been outside my window for 5 endless nights.
I stay awake and think about all of the dark ones I stayed up until 4am trying to find some sort of light.
I never found the light.
If I recall, you were the one who searched for it.
And now this has got my ever disquieting mind reeling-
Did you find me light?
Or was it false hope?A flashlight with dead batteries?
That's how I feel now-
Like a car with no engine,
Empty under the hood.
I don't know why I trusted anyone anyhow.
My heart feels like lead,
A deadweight in my chest,
Broken from the drop off the cliff.
Of course you advised it to jump.
This same cricket has been here making the same goddamn noise -
almost like how my mind tells me consistently how naive I was to trust.
It hasn't shut up in 6 hellish nights.I can't stand these fucking fights.
But you told me I must believe in the lies.
Not in so many words-
I was supposed to trust the "truth"
I guess it was a part of my demise.
Leave me to think I had the light,
But when I went to use the power it is mysteriously out of service
Right?
You obviously don't realize how far you push me down into the water.
How close I've been to drowning over-
Over and over again,
only to barely claw my way back to shore.
The cricket is still outside and I have tried to smother his sound with the conflation of sad songs,
But that's just not fair.
He sings of his sorrows just as well as I.
The cricket is outside my window and I let him stay now
For we both know this feeling
Update: I killed the cricket- he knew too much.