I gave you up for adoption at 16 yrs old never gettin to know who she is
Sad that I learned what it takes to be a man after learning to use my *****

And at the time I was so inflicted being drug addicted my sight
To see the future sober me will have
To carry this all his life

After I gave her away I woke up some days not remembering why
I gave u away only to stay intoxicated to run away or fly

Becoming scared of not being high
So when I finally decided to quit
the drugs, I regretted all I was and
the love I turned away&now; miss

The daughter who I won't kiss
hug or love so I often feel sad
Picturing my daughter hugging a better man .. Who she now calls Dad

The one she says she loves, who
Was man enough to be
A Selfless, sober and responsible role model.All the things I couldnt be

&No; matter how sorry I am or how much remorse was in my tears
Eventually even the drugs couldn't help me run or numb the fear

That still grows every year
Scared shell think I didn't care
Or even worse not even care, cause I'm just a stranger she could stare

at and not recognize me like I wore a mask as we pass in street
not knowing who I am, and I'm so **** Scared she wont want to meet

Scared shell find that in time I became a dad and succumb
To the knowledge that I now lovingly raised another baby... My son

Leading her to be angry and confused on Why she couldn't stay
But I still kept my son who now has the one father who gave her away

And it eats at me everyday, cuz I never meant to leave my blood
In the hands of a better man but trust me Ive cried so much it floods

My face whenever I face this pain that I still face now
I often wish the tears that appear as I cry over u would cause me to drown

From the puddle left on the ground
But objectively this is much worse
Cuz I am cursed with facing your birth every day only to feel the thirst

To find closure, for all of the hurt
But deep down I know that first
Karma must fairly punish me mercilessly as thats what i deserve

So like revenge it's dished& served
As cold as anything can be
And I can only hope I can forgive myself but like Casey Anthony

I took for granted the gift planted So I reep what I sew as rancid
Is self hatred,that strips my soul naked now vacant after bein handed

Something sacred, that I refused
To protect so it was safe at night
Bearing the pain of missing your first words&steps; or teachingU2ride a bike

Never hear I love you. Never know you. Never be part of your life
... I wish you knew how sorry I was but in life. There are things that no apology could ever make right ....

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