there is nothing in existence I can satisfy there is no kind of persistence that can pacify this constant need for more or restore the person i once was before there are no options - there is no substitute for a soul unable to execute anything, nothing without pain yet through the suffering I remain to continue the struggling-to feel the strain carrying round this weight on my brain it all being same, forever and unending my grief's looking like a ball and chain in the light under saturn's ascending the stars brighten as the moon wanes to warn of the darkness impending