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When Harry Heironymous Huffenhoffer Met Henrietta Huckhellopolis

Harry Heironymous Huffenhoffer

was leading a lonely life working nights

at the fukfoorfiffenfimmer factory

where he was in charge of loading crates

full of fukfoorfiffenfimmers, onto cargo cars destined for the city of Cincinnati.

 

There was such a huge demand for fukfoorfiffenfimmers in the city of Cincinnati,

poor Harry Heironymous Huffenhoffer worked his hunnyhush to the bone.

 

On one of his few holiday weekends,

Harry Heironymous Huffenhoffer went to a hair salon for a trim.

Here he was attended by a hairdresser named, Henrietta Huckhellopolis.

Harry Heironymous Huffenhoffer instantly fell for the husky-voiced hairdresser.

 

Gaining enough gumption and gallasisgoppingguff needed to bypass beating around the bush of courteous courtship,

Harry Heironymous Huffenhoffer asked Henrietta Huckhellopolis if she wanted to leerlumpaloomp later that evening.

 

"I would love to leerlumpaloomp later this evening," she replied, batting her long lashes lustily.

 

And how those two leerlumpaloomped!

 

They leerlumpaloomped long through the night.

They leerlumpaloomped so loudly,

the neighbours ended up sticking stuffystoils

into their sensilivities, in hopes of drowning out the noise.

 

Nine months later,

the lovers were blessed with a litter of lullaloonillies—wot with the loud leerlumpaloomping and all.

But, of the seven lullaloonillies, four of them had two lumpalots instead of one.

Bolstering himself against drowning in despair at the prospect of having sired freak lullaloonillies,

Harry Heironymous Huffenhoffer helped design fukfoorfiffenfimmers especially meant for lullaloonillies who have two lumpalots instead of one.

 

As the double-lumpalot fukfoorfiffenfimmers

were Harry Heironymous Huffenhoffer's idea, the owner of the fukfoorfiffenfimmer factory gave Harry Heironymous Huffenhoffer

a forty percent cut of the royalties.

 

 

*Fortunately some fairy tales come with a happy ending, because the city of Cincinnati was hit with a record number of lullaloonillies

born with two lumpalots instead of just the one.

The high sales of double-lumpalot fukfoorfiffenfimmers,

enabled Harry Heironymous Huffenhoffer and Henrietta Huckhellopolis

to quit their jobs and buy into the fukfoorfiffenfimmer factory.

 

Yes, after getting married,

Harry Heironymous and Henrietta Huckhellopolis-Huffenhoffer

lived happily hever hafter.

So did the lullaloonillies....

 

including those with two lumpalots instead of one.*

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Written by
chris-d-aechtner-1
M / Canadian
Published
Sep 6, 2011
Lines·Words
37·337
Notes

September 6th, 2011

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