While standing in the line to get inside, the rain makes a surprise appearance this may be one of the few time I don't mind it
I remember the first tuesday spent here when my Chicago soul ended up on a Los Angeles street at the recommendation of a new friend and then somehow ended up on stage
I don't recall details like I should but the eager racing of my heart every time I walk through the door speaks volumes, says I know why you feel the way you do that moment of hearing myself speak for the first time is still new
on the nights like this where I don't read I still feel an energy that reminds me of a certain comfort my hands still shake through the excitement of just existing
my stomach, a drain of stories, was used to swallowing whole without chewing this is where I learned how to digest my past
I trade smiles with strangers who are just realizing their ability to do the same
if you were to ask anyone who has ever sat on this stage, in these seats, why they choose to join this cluttered convention of hearts in such a small space, they would probably pause, smile and answer something along the crooked lines of, "you just have to be there to understand"
and you do there is a magic in the air that you can't bottle instead you hold your breath through a busy week to make it to the next in order to experience it again
there is no language that could describe this place where we each speak our own yet somehow still understand each other this is the place I cannot put an adjective to, there is no metaphor for what experience can offer
this is the place where my cheeks turn fire in the best way possible the rhythm of my chest is faster than it is in fear, unexplainable
this is where my tuesday night becomes weekend this is where my empty becomes whole this is where Yesika forms full moons with her words and the softness of her voice echoes against the hollow of the theatre lights this is where the power of black stories remind my whiteness how necessary vocality is this is where I found myself bare under a spotlight for the first time over a year ago and this is where I discovered that bareness doesn't have to be a bad thing
I know how it sounds sitting on a stage in a dim room with strangers listening for an hour and a half to a story that isn't yours but the best way to find yourself is in the words of another this is where I find myself again and again this is where I come whenever I am lost