Between the saint
and the sinner
I've lost my footing
I feel the clothes tugging off me
And the pants coming undone
And the sweat seeping into the sheets
And I wish I  could feel the eyes judging me
because I think
it would
be hot
I wish I could feel the guilt
When I'm being pushed into
When I'm lost
I wish I could be found outside myself
I wish I had another hand to grasp
Another neck to bite
More skin to tug at.
The sneaking rush is what I want
The naughty giggles
I want to be right
For all the wrong reasons
The corruption
The seduction
I want the regret
I want to avert my eyes and blush
At the mention
of a ....
I want flesh
To make me anxious
To make me feel like
I am going to hell.