As I lay here
in the same bed
with the same pillows
and the same pajama bottoms
as I did a year ago
and read the words you never shared with me
by the twelve am glow of my cell phone
a lot of things cross my mind.

Mostly, I miss you
and the romance we almost never sorta had
But also I'm worried
about where you're going
and where I'm headed too.
I'm afraid the future will never be
anything we ever hoped
and that it will beat us both
into a senseless death
before we even have the chance to try.

And I know
you also feel the same
which is maybe why I still get texts from you
(though I like to think it's because we truly
       have a profound connection of friendship)
and it's definitely why I bother responding
because I like to make sure
I don't have to mourn you
(or me)
just yet.