I feel like I'm dying, from the inside out and i am constantly aware that it's happening but i can't feel it because it hurts too much.

Embers burn and they burn out. That's what the pain will feel like. The embers burning at their peak. But eventually, they burn out like candles blow out. And that's what moving on from you feels like.
It feels wrong and unfinished. It feels unnatural. Like a growth, a mass, a tumour. Like a halfway-paved walk or an unfinished sentence.

But my memories of you will never be chipped from my mind like slamming a ceramic mug onto the tabletop. You've ingrained yourself in every ****** movement I make and I don't know how to make it stop. Because I don't want to forget. I can't forget. I need you because you make me feel real. You make me feel like I matter. And that's the worst thing you could've ever done to me.

Because when you walked away, I lost a huge part of me. I lost a chunk of who I was, who I could be.

"How do you feel?"
"Does it matter? It doesn't change anything."

Because that vacant look in your eye was the last memory of you that I have. The distance.

"Whether it matters or not is not the point."
"I love you."

Because the first time I said it, would be the last time you'd hear it. It's been 10 days since then. And 28 since you stopped caring. It's been 3 years and 4 months since we first met. But a day has not gone by when my heart doesn't hurt because you're no longer here.

You said that you'd never leave me.
And you lied.
You said you cared about me.
And you lied.

You said I could always count on you.
And you lied.
You said you'd never let me go.
And you lied.

You said you loved me.
And you lied.
You said I could trust you.
And you lied.

But I believed you.
I believed in you.
I believed because of you.
I don't know what to believe anymore.

A stumbling hurricane into a newly made up home.
I set roots and you tore me out of the ground.
I held your hand, and you let go.
I shouldn't have let you hold me on the way home.
I shouldn't have let you touch me when my heart hurt.

But I did.
I did and you held me.
I did and you broke me.

You broke me.