Torn apart, convinced I have lost my heart because I just don't care anymore! Fed up with people, fed up with myself, fed up with religion, fed up with all. Can't deny God, because of my past experiences but now I don't now how to feel about the this big G in the sky.  Should I leave and lose myself in the society that has corrupted this once innocent mind, these eyes that were subliminally blinded from the horrors of this poisonous world. So now I'm just stuck on this picket fence not knowing which side to take. I know what the scriptures say, that a lukewarm man will get spat out of God's mouth, but my question is why I have to experience this ****** life and be expected to sacrifice it to some guy picking his nose not doing anything for me. I apparently I have some real big purpose, so is that why I have to experience the crap I'm still trying to get out. Why couldn't have I just died? I know that's bad to say, but **** I have lost almost all my faith in hope for a good life.