These memories taste bitter like ash,
They burn my throat like the smoke we breathed in on your back porch last Friday.
The trees swept out over the brilliant mountain and I realized that remembering is a stupid decision,
Memory burns my throat and it doesn’t feel good to remember.
It doesn't feel good to remember my father's disappointment,
Or my mother’s sorrow that her boy didn't grow up to be enough of a man for her liking.
It doesn’t feel good to remember crying quietly on a late Saturday morning,
Or wanting to take my own life on a warm Sunday night.
Summer springs into my life just as a sore throat surprises you one morning
And you know you are getting sick,
The heat of the day and the loneliness of the night blur together
And I hold no joy in these months and their lazy solitude.
Yesterday I sat in the blinding sun with you by my side and together we ended an era,
But I still don’t know if I will finally be ok
And all I have is this sickening moment because I can’t remember but I am too afraid to look ahead.
Please promise me you wont forget,
But it may kill me to remember,
I hope one day I will be able to recall and feel at peace,
I don't want to forget this.