Sometimes I struggle with
Seeing all im receiving, the things
I am blessed with, congested as I
Concentrate on what I didn't win

Or what I do when tempted by sin
Maybe that's why lately I've had
Nothing more cause if I don't adore
what has been given than I shouldnt have

more, if I'm not grateful already
So I'm trying to change
But to me change is very scary
Ill even admit to something strange

That I have lived in discomfort
many times Just to keep what I know
When I was aware that making
A change would arrange a fix and control

The problem causing discomfort
and That's how bad I have got
But I live by rather knowing my
Current devil over the one I do not

It's confusing which I do not
Make any better...it's stupid
Sometimes I exhaust myself
By making situations convoluted

But I'm just one of life's students
Trying to do it alone
But I try to put my pride aside
Cause inside I feel i have grown

Possessions are never really owned
But just borrowed til we die
And that puts in perspective
Why materialism will only deny

My consciousness to fly
Wrapped up in my toys
Computers plasma tv , tablet or car
Which was hot wheels as a boy

Proving we don't grow up much
Our toys just cost more
And like everyone else these
Days I keep buying what I can't afford

Just to be unhappy and bored
It's quite sad to be honest
But being a man takes none
Of that cuz his word in a promise

Is more an asset but many dishonest
People forgot the importance
Of being a good neighbor or
Samaritan, so we are all orphans

If not brothers in accordance
With origin blood or flesh
But we're too concerned with a
Cheque to collect what we earn, our net

Our gross and its gross its
Ugly but our trials and tribulations
Are essentially what fundamentally place
ramifications opposing us from manipulation

And I expect satan will be waitin
In a vacant room
To welcome me for welcoming the evil
that had me and my ego consumed

But temptation only groomed
The greed I had Inside
The need to succeed by any
Means with dreams i was sadly denied

So in these words I confide
Giving them the power it gave me
So when I read back the crap i confess i
collapse knowing nothing can save me

nor Will it calm down my crazy
To many variables so maybe
But I'll do what I have to for provisions
to provide for my baby

My boy, who's no baby but
Will always be my baby boy
If u told me 10 yrs ago I'd be
Changing diapers and still feel joy

I'd think u smoked rob fords pipe
and, probably think u hit it twice
But in essence it's all part of the
Beauty on this roller coaster of life

Up down upside down, upside the
Head, smack!!  go to bed
Before you know it turns to jobs,
, taxes and all else ****** that lead

By adolescence making me
Regret how fast I grew up
Always wanting to be older
Sacrificing the heart of a child but

We all make these **** ups
I'm just better at it then you
And as I end this reflection I feel the
stress lessin as this poems infused

With a new mind state leaving
These worrys behind
Coming to terms with imperfection
Or it will be effectin my mind

Wasting time which is a crime
But for a crime u do time
Which is earth to me sometimes
as i pray my stars will just align

And show me a destiny that I'm
The cause of manifesting or
Maybe my fate is to face with
Faith that I really need nothing more