Words abandoned me today.
My thoughts race. No clue what I'm thinking except that I'm thinking.
I'm sleepy. I should get some rest. Probably would be for the best. But I don't want to. I don't want this miserable day to end, because I am more afraid of tomorrow. I barely eat, my hands tremble.. I'm shaky, weak, feeble, clumsy, falling.. Tired, awake, bleeding, leading myself astray.. but why?
Ironically because all I am feeling is sadness and pain. You flow in my veins but the weight of my love for you is simply to great. So I endure but I don't want to. I want to give up but I can't. I want to stop but I can't. I'm tired of fighting but my mind and body simply won't stop to rest. I don't want to die yet this seems like this will be a fight to the death..and I don't want to give in to my desire to see you.. it's frail and it hurts so I keep it close and deny. But I can't help but accept that without you I will die, this frail part of me that I hold so close to my side.. And when I show this side I can only show that I care. Stevie has writersblock so I wrote this poem as your dad.