I shower but stil I
Feel so *****
I've accomplished nothing
and I'm almost 30

Lost in panic and worry
Not worthy of much
And depression has left
Me so out of touch

With happiness and love
That I envy in others
And i hate family if
We're all sister and brother

Not even my mother
Can stand what I have
Become as I run from
Problems I never had

Making no sense of it
As it don't comply
With logics realm but still
Is real if my cries

Are a result tasting salt
Roll to my lip
Wanting to **** eve and
Give back Adam his rib

I wanna **** Romeo and
Juliette So they can forever
Be together and maybe
Ill be ****** up forever

Finding how clever
I can be with the new ways
I creatively find to
**** up everyday

Like innovation was
Making tragedy easier
Til the miracle constructed
Was What dinosaurs in a meteor

Saw when extinction
Broke the prison of birth
Like I hope soon will
Happen to humans on earth

And sickening it maybe
So hate me like those
Who know me have slowly
And heaven only will know

What heaven holds
Cause I never will so
Why bother keeping high
Hopes when I know

Life is what happens
When ur busy making Plans
And no shower can clean
dirt collected by man

In this world of quicksand
That hands me a promise
That I will be pulled under
Never to get what is wanted

So I give up and give in
On anything I dream
Cause hope is like dope
It brings the belief

That all is ok when it's
Not and never has been
So intoxication and
Desperation is all that's seen

And disgusting it is
But definitive it stands
So hideous I pity this
insidious to man

What idiots would plan
While causing destruction
Self calamity so damaging
It's ravaging til nothing

Is left but the memory's
We share of what was
Life granted on a planet
We Managed to **** up

Cause Where a beautiful tender
Smiling little girl
So pretty will grow into
A deceptive **** cause the world

Can make an innocent
boy so happy to become
A ****** who hate this
World where he's from

And that is just one
Or two ways how
This sick ****** up hell
Can bring the greyest clouds

Over the beauty to
Rain on a ******* parade
Of purity's perfections
So celebrations were made

a funeral where layed
Is all our hopes dreamed
All the visions of playing
Children who's laughter seems

To change into cries
And sad questions of why
That are rhetorical it's
Horrible but still we deny

The Steps to collect
And connect the depth
Cause the love we kept
In our hearts all that's left

To ***** and correct
What we need to accept
Or victims of our own
demons well be in regret......