I ******* know who you are

I've known for a long time

I just...pretended to discover your faults

I pretended to be surprised

The petty ******* you put me through
You're a story to tell
A "look what they did now"
and **** my peers for
swallowing these emotions of hurt
**** them for not telling me that I'm brilliant
That I'm a ******* poet
That I knew you before you knew yourself

No better yet **** me

I chose to put my heart on a platter
B/c I figured its beauty would blind you
into accidentally growing up

I used my insecurity with myself to reason
That if I tried hard enough my love
would cocoon you into the person you could be

How dare I have such a low regard for myself

How dare I focus energy into being a foundation for you
Everyone spits  on the ground

How dare I pretend that loving you is out of my control
**** me for that dumb mentality
for making excuses
for displacing blame
for writing this poem

I walked into your soul and asked that you love me
offered my heart out of loneliness

Weak
Is not what I am
Life is what I make it

You will be a distasteful blemish on my crown
kept only as a reminder that
my love isn't a tool to be manipulated in an attempt
to fill a nonexistent void I've created
its something I afford everyone
Its beautiful
Its biblical
Its peace

So excuse me while I
grow the **** up