Here I sit,
Another moment passing me by.
What to do
What do to?
I'm forever running
And always being left behind

I peer in at life
Wishing I could be a part of it
Dying to know how it feels . . .
How it feels to be a part of the world
My clock is ticking away
As I put myself through my paces
Taking step after step
And going nowhere

There is nowhere to go
But down
Down into that pool of despair
That calls to me
And lets me know I'm welcome.
I feel the warmth of oblivion
As it courses through my veins
And I long for it

But I can't slip away
There's too much to do
Too much left unsaid
Too many people to leave behind
Too much .  . .
Too much of everything
But not enough of what I need

What do I need?
I wish I knew
I wish I could find it in God
Find it on the street
Buy it from a store
And just make everything okay again
If it ever was okay to begin with.

My heart pounds
As I consider myself
And what I am worth
I don't amount to much
But I still am something
Perhaps that's enough to hold on to
For now . . .
For now.