It’s gone past loneliness;
It’s become acceptance.
I allow my misery to consume me,
I allow my pain to be my only friend,
I no longer fight to feel relevant,
And I no longer beg to not be left alone.
I’ve given in to the empty silence
And the constant nights at home;
Watching TV in the dark,
Seeing shadows flicker
Across the wall.
A sad and lonely
Pink haze fills the room,
It smells of *** and incense;
Take another hit
And pass it to myself.

My mind drifts to you . . .

I wonder how you’re feeling,
I wonder if I’ll see you again,
I wonder . . .
I wonder.
I think of all
The tears I cried
When I knew
I was in love with you.
How sad a day
To be in love
With the one
That doesn’t love
You too!

And still I gave myself to you . . .

You broke inside of me
And you took my soul away.
I feel the sorrow
Wrapped ‘round my heart,
And the loathing in my gut.
I knew all along
That I was just your little ***** ****.
I dropped to my knees
When my phone would ring,
Ready and eager
To do just about anything.
And, in the end,
As you lay beside me
Dreaming of her,
I turn away
In sorrow
And let a tear
Slip down my cheek.
I love you, dear,
But I mean nothing to you.
I put all my cards on the table
And you pushed them aside;
Now I have nothing
And nowhere to hide.
My heart’s bare to you now
And I’ve given you my all;
But, here I am standing
Alone in my room,
Cursing the day
I thought love was true.