I feel like dying infinity I feel like turning off the lights and never turning them back on I want to sink into the black Into the nothing I want to crawl around the stars and lay in the sky I want to die like a super nova shatter with every colour god has ever created Paint it across all of the midnight I am living in I am dying from walking in her midnight sky Three am is only so fun for the first week but day after day of 4 am constellation girl was killing me when I had to wake up in the morning I was being consumed with shadows That is all that is left of us I am a shadow with too much blood Too much human to pretend i am nothing Her chest became the new house for my heart but see a house and a home are not the same thing My I love yous were there walking the hallways but they were unwelcomed they just ricocheted off of the walls like stray bullets Like strangers in a home that they didn't belong in I am sorry I am sorry that I am a stranger That I can only seem to write poems for you I dont know what happened to my voice Maybe I thought my words were softer when they weren't spoken I was just trying to make the depression seem pretty make the ribs that were bursting through my heart look less like knives pointed at you baby I promise they were put there by someone else but I can't seem to be able to pull them out without dying again and again I am trying so hard to make my pain look beautiful even though it is not It is ugly and covered in blood It is a graveyard of smiles It is drowning me but instead I write about watercolour roses or some **** because darling I know you are afraid of the ocean I am too but maybe just maybe If I can paint my heart ache a different colour you won't be scared of me of this broken home of a body I have white washed all of the walls for you erased all of the burn marks and flood lines I have rebuilt who i am hoping you could remind me who i was But I forgot I forgot you always said you wanted to travel Im sorry I forgot you are temporary I am just an empty repair shop with a permanent foundation all I do is echo echo the memory of fixing things I just couldn't fix myself