ya know
when you first went back to her after you told me I wasn't "your type",
I questioned everything.
I questioned our love.
I couldn't possibly comprehend how it was possible for you to actually love me and then get over me so quickly.
So I knew it must have been a lie, you must have used me.
You said to me one time "You can't tell if you're being used or not?"
I honestly could not tell.
Used was all I have ever known and even that seemed to be real.
You told me many times that you weren't using me and I eventually believed you.
But then you told me you loved me and I told you I loved you too.
we agreed being together wasn't in our best interest so we decided to be friends.
You went back to your ex and it killed me so badly.
The only possible explanation was that you used me.
This conflicted me for months.
Then one night we were on the phone and I started crying.
I never told you why but somehow you knew
you always know.
You reassured me that it was real, that you meant everything.
And from that moment on, I felt a peace in my heart.
Knowing that it was real but is over is better than not knowing if the person you loved is heartless.