I find myself wanting to get in a life threatening accident just to see if you would come and visit me in ICU
If it would even cross your mind to see how I was doing
Or if you would go to her house instead and talk about how tragic it must be for my parents
Find your solace in her lips
Wrap your arms around her body like putting on a seatbelt
Fall into her kiss like falling out of a passenger door
Lay next to her in her bed having no trouble breathing at all
I wonder if you will think of me
How my lungs are gripping air in its palms pulling it in with every ounce of strength they have
How they are fighting to keep me alive
Blood pumping, adrenaline running up and down this highway
Heartbeat faster than the day I fell in love with you
Mind racing, body aching, a tornado of agony awakening within me
And you will be comfortable, sending a text to my mother saying that you were sorry for what happened
I wonder if you even would be sorry
I find myself risking everything for just one more miracle
But sitting behind the steering wheel of a car
I can never bring myself to swerving into the other lane or into a tree or off a bridge
Because although I am curious what would happen
I cannot risk dying without knowing if maybe one day you would come back without me having to be on the edge of death first