In my head I saw
the potential life.
The one that included
not just you but I.
You would change
and come with me
and shift and grow
and adjust to being free.
We would explore and create.
I imagined us cooking dinner.
I never said it,
but I couldn't wait.
I liked the thought of us,
both foreign to this place.
Decorating the house,
and learning each others ways.
And these little ideas
they settled comfortably into my brain.
Nothing but snippets of an unspoken plan
that are now nothing but self inflicted pain.