May 2015
Its okay. You broke me. It's okay. Things break because they need to be fixed. It's okay. Maybe you're confused. Maybe you love her. It's okay. It's not like I'll love you forever, right? Things break because they need to be fixed.
I think it might be okay. I'm uncertain. I'm broken, it still hurts. It'll be okay. Sometimes things don't get fixed the way they used to be. It'll be okay. You lie. You love her. I think it'll take a little time for me to be okay. Sometimes things don't get fixed the way they used to be.
I don't know if it'll be okay. I'm lost. I'm still broken. I don't know if it'll be okay. It hurts to see you with her. I don't know if it'll be okay. You love her. You break me again. You love her. I don't know if I'll be okay. It hurts.
I don't think it'll be okay. I've been distracting myself with addictions like razors that need to be sharper and cigarettes that need to last longer. You still love her. You act like I'm not there. I don't think it'll be okay. I'm distracting myself with addictions that are becoming my life.
It won't be okay. I know; I have scars under my heart and my lungs are rotten. It'll take me years to get over this addiction. You love her. It's going to be years before I stop loving you. I buy another pack. Maybe our timing was wrong.
I'm not okay. I know; I woke up with a bottle of pills in my stomach, but I'm not dead. You kiss her at the end of the day at school. In front of everyone. I leave. Panic attacks in the school bus are in routine. I still love you. It hurts. It hurts. I don't think you'll stop loving her until I'm dead. God, I'm horrible.
It's been six months since I last saw you. I drank for the first time a week ago. I know you'd have a heart attack. If you were still here. You tell me you still love her but you couldn't do long distance because you were leaving for college and she was still in school. I'm not happy. I think it's stupid. If you loved someone that much, what's a thing like distance? I'm in a different continent than you are. I still love you. I look for you in crowds and I look for you in people. I wonder if we'd ever run into each other in the future and if you'd wanna try again. Probably not. I buy more packs.
It's been three years. Three years since I last saw you. I use nicotine patches and there are month old scars around my thighs. I smile and sometimes I can laugh without faking it. I'm in another country. I don't look for you in crowds anymore. I don't know if I'll be okay.
I don't see you in my best friend and that's something big. She can be like you, and I think I might like her. But not because of the similarities between you two. I don't know if I'm still in love you. I still feel empty and I still relapse from time to time. I guess when you love someone for so long you forget who you are without those feelings. I think it'll be okay.
I think it might be okay. I'm uncertain. I'm broken, it still hurts. It'll be okay. Sometimes things don't get fixed the way they used to be. It'll be okay. You lie. You love her. I think it'll take a little time for me to be okay. Sometimes things don't get fixed the way they used to be.
I don't know if it'll be okay. I'm lost. I'm still broken. I don't know if it'll be okay. It hurts to see you with her. I don't know if it'll be okay. You love her. You break me again. You love her. I don't know if I'll be okay. It hurts.
I don't think it'll be okay. I've been distracting myself with addictions like razors that need to be sharper and cigarettes that need to last longer. You still love her. You act like I'm not there. I don't think it'll be okay. I'm distracting myself with addictions that are becoming my life.
It won't be okay. I know; I have scars under my heart and my lungs are rotten. It'll take me years to get over this addiction. You love her. It's going to be years before I stop loving you. I buy another pack. Maybe our timing was wrong.
I'm not okay. I know; I woke up with a bottle of pills in my stomach, but I'm not dead. You kiss her at the end of the day at school. In front of everyone. I leave. Panic attacks in the school bus are in routine. I still love you. It hurts. It hurts. I don't think you'll stop loving her until I'm dead. God, I'm horrible.
It's been six months since I last saw you. I drank for the first time a week ago. I know you'd have a heart attack. If you were still here. You tell me you still love her but you couldn't do long distance because you were leaving for college and she was still in school. I'm not happy. I think it's stupid. If you loved someone that much, what's a thing like distance? I'm in a different continent than you are. I still love you. I look for you in crowds and I look for you in people. I wonder if we'd ever run into each other in the future and if you'd wanna try again. Probably not. I buy more packs.
It's been three years. Three years since I last saw you. I use nicotine patches and there are month old scars around my thighs. I smile and sometimes I can laugh without faking it. I'm in another country. I don't look for you in crowds anymore. I don't know if I'll be okay.
I don't see you in my best friend and that's something big. She can be like you, and I think I might like her. But not because of the similarities between you two. I don't know if I'm still in love you. I still feel empty and I still relapse from time to time. I guess when you love someone for so long you forget who you are without those feelings. I think it'll be okay.
