How many nights might have been different,
so many empty words bled onto pages needlessly?

You lied to me, both of you.
You two hated each other after you loved,
Mother and Father, and each
in your own way crippled me.

You two taught me to believe in a world that doesn't,
and never will exist, a twisted version of reality;
you pushed the world you wished,
instead of the one I know you lived.

Woman upon a pedestal,
and man with pride above her want,
both simple and wishful trash
that has caused me untold pain.

I am alone now because of the
decisions I have made, my own
beliefs dictating what I thought
was right, good, and just.

I can't drink anything without guilt,
I can't let a woman that's not as drunk
as me kiss me without feeling like a predator,
I can't **** without feeling like I have
violated her free will.

I can't touch someone without
wondering what they may want from me
in return for their affection.

What I can do however, is rebel.

I can say no.
I can make a choice to cast aside these shackles,
as I should have and tried to do
long ago.

I will give all I can,
and I will not be afraid to receive.