i traded unanswered questions and hushed laughter
for our bodies in the moonlight and your silence above me
the feel of you inside me was enough for me but your lips
never met mine and though your fingers had held mine so sweetly before,
when you rose and left me alone I could only feel the ghost
of your hands

I showered twice and still i can smell you on my skin
the smell of hope and *** and youth and endings
and for some reason the lack of you
bothers me more than all the boys i followed home last year
strangers and cigarettes and empty ***** were good enough
until you held me through the new year and i found my voice
too little too late
i don’t have a say in whether or not you stay

too soon i will be gone to the mountains
and i guess
your arms around me and
your voice before the sunrise
are the only memories i need to carry with me