With every waking breath I wish I were gone. I wish I were at a meadow filled with daisies or a peaceful ocean drenching the sadness away. Somehow these wishes are all I think about.  The way I gaze at the whiteboard imagining I'm at home under a blanket. The moments I'm hoping I will not have to attend school the next day. I find myself feeling lonely in a building full of others. The dreams I have of the future that I know will never come true in my lifetime. All of these meaningless thoughts of worth and faded pasts. I see myself applying to the work of everyday and the next brief second I'm a puddle of tears and fear. The feeling of failure and deprived opportunities. When I know I could have done better, when I know I will never be the idea of perfect to myself or to my fellow peers.  So many concepts run through my mind of what is considered weak and attention seeking. I do not want to get down to that ghastly level that I'm extremely close to hitting. Whether that be breaking down or giving up on what I have received. Schooling has built up so much pressure. Success is expected by a person quite as me but what if I cannot deliver that request? The weight of the world is on my shoulders as it will get heavier and heavier throughout the years. Eventually I will break and that will be my ending point and it's painful that I am looking forward to that blissful moment.