Never had I felt so unwanted in my entire life. For the first time, you gave me an inkling of doubt. That inkling later turned into a stain that covered my entire heart, blocking you from it. You didn't want me. You wanted someone else. I was barely a month post-operation. My self confidence was frighteningly low. Did you notice? You always called me confident, but I wasn't. Not then. It only got worse after I read those text messages. I'm sorry I did, but I knew something was wrong. I was right. You had wanted someone who wasn't me. In a way, it felt like cheating. You would've, had there not been a strict "no touching" rule. You would've. As I read those texts, I jumped up, ran down my grandmother's hallway, and locked myself in her bedroom. My hands were shaking and my knees were weak. How could you? I felt like my heart had been ripped out of my chest. How could you? God, it ******* hurt. It hurt it hurt it hurt. You destroyed any trust I had in you. From then on out, my trust was lacking. It never returned. Never.
One thing I've realized looking back on things is that you didn't care. You barely cried while my pain was pouring down my cheeks. You hardly blinked. You thought that I would welcome you back with open arms. You actually got upset when I wouldn't kiss you, three days after having my heart broken. *******. ******* for hurting me like that.
I should've ended it then. I should've broken your heart.
Then maybe you would have understood.