I used to like the rain
Because it sounds like white noise
Like silence but not as empty
And that was the only sound that I wanted  to enter my life
Because I loved being alone
I longed for the time when I would get to isolate myself from the rest of the world
Because I had no reason not to
I had no reason to dread being by myself
Until I met you
And now every time I find myself alone I am miserable
Because that means that you are somewhere else
With someone else
Who moves the clouds out of the way
When all I did was bring them closer
And all I can think is how much happier she makes you
And I envy everything about her
How she gets to hold your sweaty hand because you are so nervous to touch her
How she feels safe in your arms even though you feel like you could pass out
How she gets to kiss you in the midst of your anxious rambling
Because she is so beautiful
And you can't stop thinking how you could possibly hold on to a girl like her
And I wonder how I let go of a guy like you
And hope that the rain fills the silence with enough resonance to drown out my thoughts
Because I can't get you out of my head
Unless I fill it with something else
And it has destroyed my will
To be alone