give me a day full of sunshine and flowers
and i will show you the clouds
and the lone ****

a colored world of happiness
drenched in a permanent grey
that my mind cannot erase
has caused many lost years

i want to reach up, grab a cloud
      squeeze out the excess,
and use it to wash the dirt that clutters my mind
so i can see the blue
           green
    yellow
          red
    orange
and green

this self induced misery
is pathetic
    even for me

but amazingly
i find comfort in it.