I tried to run my hands through my hair realizing I’d never get to be anyone else.
Every tangle I catch is another stretch of road I won’t see, every knot is the buzz of bees in my gut when I think of what I don’t know.
My biggest regret is I will never see my past selves. The lives I lived before this one. The people I met, and the things I saw. The words I spoke and the experiences I had.
My life hasn’t been lackluster, I’ve seen enough, but not a lot. I dream about courage, and what it would feel like to stand in a different place.
I know Nebraska well enough to know that it doesn’t love me back. My feet are arched, they deserve more than this flat land.
I love this state, it seems that we are in the middle of everything but it flat lines into oblivion and I want to be a tick, I want to be a pulse, I want to feel.
So forgive me when I say that I need more than this place sometimes, I need more than this life sometimes I need more than myself sometimes.
Right now I’d fall down a flight of stairs if it means I'll have a story to tell later.
I do my best to punch the sky I envy it for continuing to see more than I can.
My hands are getting caught in my hair, and maybe I just need someone else’s for awhile.