I tried
to run my hands
through my hair
realizing I’d never
get to be anyone else.
Every tangle I catch
is another
stretch of road
I won’t see,
every knot
is the buzz of
bees in my gut
when I think
of what I don’t
know.
My biggest
regret
is I will never see
my past selves.
The lives I
lived before this one.
The people
I met, and
the things I saw.
The words I spoke
and the experiences I had.
My life
hasn’t been lackluster,
I’ve seen enough,
but not a lot.
I dream about courage,
and what
it would feel like
to stand
in a different place.
I know Nebraska
well enough to know
that it doesn’t love me back.
My feet
are arched,
they deserve more
than this
flat
land.
I love this state,
it seems that
we are in the middle
of everything
but
it flat lines
into oblivion
and I want to be a tick,
I want to be a pulse,
I want to feel.
So forgive me when
I say that
I need more
than this place
sometimes,
I need more
than this life
sometimes
I need more
than myself
sometimes.
Right now
I’d fall down
a flight of stairs
if it means
I'll have a story
to tell later.
I do my best
to punch the sky
I envy it
for continuing
to see more than I can.
My hands
are getting caught
in my hair,
and maybe I just need
someone else’s for awhile.