I dreamed that I am stuck in a room with you and her, falling in love over me, letting your amour brush my skin like a knife and I wake up thinking it is just a dream
I know, however, that is isn't
People keep telling me that it will get easier knowing that this is all there is but I can't even get out of bed
My stomach does not ache for nourishment
My limbs grow weaker by the day
I cannot bring myself to the realization that you have left, gone, moved away with no plan to return
Even if a man misses his old home that does not mean
he will move back into it
My room has grown cold from the door always being open
I can hardly sleep because my bed is so empty
I have lost the memory of your body once being there next to me
The outline of your shoulders has faded to grey
I am sorry my love is almost as bad as my memory
I shut you out with a silence that you didn’t understand
Neither did I, you were not alone in the profound confusion
I missed you the second I stepped out of your truck
But I learned it didn't matter the amount of hope I had
I planted hopes all throughout my garden that only
remained lonely seeds
I know that this doesn’t make any sense
I know that we may never love again
But that does not keep me from holding on to the sleeve
of December
I wish I could tell you why my grip is so tight on it
But I can't
In fact there are a lot of things I can't tell you
A lot of things I wish I could
I only write them down
In hopes that you will read them