I just feel so alone in this big big world. Like there's me, surrounded by a puffy winter jacket 10 sizes too big. And I'm scrambling to envelop myself in it, but there's so much empty space. I'm being swallowed. By darkness and coldness and nothingness. And it's terrifying, yet there are so many exhilarating things in this life. But my mind is traveling too fast to absorb any of it or even pause briefly to observe the magnificence of what I have been given. I'm scared and I'm alone, and I'm scared THAT I'm alone. I say I love you far too often and much too quickly, but you never know which day will be your last. And that thought alone scares me, because I haven't done any of the things I want to do. I'm scared of life - not even the future - because it's such a beautiful thing that I have been blessed with but I find it so goddamn painful. And it's exhausting.